DISKUS Vol.3, No.1 (1995) pp. 53-72 The Kitchen and the Study: An Examination of Selected Gender-Related Issues as seen in Jewish Families and in the Upbringing of Jewish Children Peter Woodward Homerton College Hills Road Cambridge CB2 2PH, UK Difference, Diversity and Division The Talmud claims, 'It is easier to appease a male than a female - because the first man was created out of dust, which is soft, but the first woman was created out of bone, which is hard.' (Niddah, 31b) Contentious generalisations such as this serve to illustrate the nature of the Jewish emphasis upon fundamental differences between the sexes. However, a substantial degree of variety in viewpoint is evident to anyone who studies the considerable diversity of groupings and outlooks found among Jews in many parts of the world today. These include 'denominational divisions', where Orthodox Jews disagree vehemently with Progressives, who in turn (in Britain) are split into Liberal and Reform movements.<1> The Orthodox themselves, who constitute the largest numerical group in the U.K., are also divided into parties or factions. Their divisions relate particularly to the level of halachah (observance of Torah and the impact of its regulations on many aspects of everyday life). As a recent survey of British synagogue membership notes, 'Judaism displays a continuum from non-adherence (to any belief or ritual) to complete observance of Halachah <2>... In popular parlance synagogues where all members are halachically observant have become known in Britain as "Right-Wing". The remaining majority of Ashkenazi Orthodox synagogues are grouped as "Central Orthodox".' (Schmool and Cohen, 1991: 3) This distinction between the halachically observant and those who are Orthodox but not fully observant of the prescriptions of Torah is an important one in the case of gender issues, for, as Glinert has shown (1985: 3-5), it makes generalisation about the Orthodox community extremely difficult. The picture is complicated still further by the fact that there is considerable variety of usage not only in the United Kingdom but also in the United States (and elsewhere) with regard to the titles adopted by the different sub-groupings. The current UK Chief Rabbi drew attention himself to 'the sociology of halakhah' and the danger that 'when one extreme position is adopted by non-halakhic groups, halakhic rulings tend to move to the opposite extreme in an understandable concern to create a protective fence around Orthodoxy. When this happens, the balance of halakhah is disturbed. (Sacks 1991: 227) Different Communities, Different Attitudes The mixture of terms in these sub-groupings is a source of potential confusion, and especially so to those who, like the present writer, have not been brought up within the Jewish tradition. Its relevance here is that attitudes to gender roles vary considerably across these divisions. In this respect contemporary viewpoints are inevitably affected by their historical and geographical antecedents. Ashkenazic synagogues, for instance, reflect the central European, Yiddish speaking communities that were common in nineteenth century Germany, Poland and Russia and have a wide following in Britain and the U.S. today. Sephardic synagogues, by contrast, represent Middle Eastern approaches that have come into prominence around the Mediterranean and in Israel. Both of these groupings are conservative in outlook, but each reflects a distinctive attitude to issues of gender, focusing attention especially on the nature of its approach to the care of unmarried females. To differentiate clearly between them would be the subject for a much broader study; suffice it to say that the Sephardic families interviewed for the research that gave rise to this article appeared to cling more closely to their traditional roots than their Ashkenazic counterparts and that traces of this were in evidence in the restrictions imposed upon their young people.<3> This conservatism of Orthodox attitudes appears to be much stricter and more protective than the approach taken by many of the Progressive adults who were interviewed. In the latter's eyes care for the young appeared frequently to be as concerned with their physical protection as with their moral safety, although the latter was also never far from the minds of their parents. At another level there are divisions between secular Jews and those who practise (to whatever degree) the observance of halachah. The secular approach is particularly strong in the kibbutz movement in Israel, as was discovered from talking to families with relatives and friends living there, but it also finds support in the more highly developed societies of western Europe and America.<4> In their attitudes to gender issues secular Jews often agreed with Progressive viewpoints, although mostly as a reaction against the more extreme views of the Orthodox rather than in a conscious effort to present the type of positive alternative that many Progressive communities attempt to provide. In addition to the secular attitudes frequently found there, Israel appears to be the meeting place and the melting pot for Jews from every ethnic group and nationality. Ethiopian Jews (Falashas) and Russian Jews mingle with Jews from Canada, the United States and Britain, some coming to visit, others to spend a year or so in kibbutzim or moshevim (cooperatives allowing some measure of independence), still others to live permanently in the country.<5> Such a cosmopolitan situation inevitably brings together a wide range of viewpoints on issues such as gender, where customs vary widely and attitudes are formed by the experiences of a wide variety of homelands. Unity in Diversity At the same time the self-image of Judaism presented by those who were interviewed displayed their awareness that theirs was a tradition that was firmly united in many of its basic teachings and in its religious and ethical standards. The factors that bind their communities together were seen by them as incomparably stronger than those that divide them, and this was particularly true in matters of sexual role, especially as far as the Orthodox communities studied were concerned. While Progressives and secular Jews appeared to reflect some movement away from Orthodox positions in regard to the detail of family matters and the roles allotted to mothers and daughters, there was little evidence of major disagreement in regard to the esteem in which the females are held in the family was concerned. Fuller treatment of this aspect follows below. Patterns of Male Activity For most male Jews, whatever their age, and certainly for observant and Orthodox ones, the study of Torah has long been the central activity of their tradition. This was particularly evident in the four Orthodox synagogues whose children were interviewed. A Hebrew letter is still traced on the tongue of a Jewish boy shortly after he has been circumcised. As he grows up at home he learns to sing songs in Hebrew (classical or modern day (Ivrit) as the case may be) and sometimes in Yiddish. If his family observes traditional customs to any extent he studies and memorises passages from Torah and other parts of the Hebrew Bible in preparation for his Bar Mitzvah, after which he is regarded as an adult. This process reaches its climax when, at the age of thirteen years and a day, he reads the scriptures aloud in a synagogue service, usually on the Sabbath morning, although the ceremony sometimes takes place on a Monday or a Thursday when the Torah is also brought out to be read. In one instance a boy whose Bar Mitzvah was delayed to avoid two such ceremonies falling on the same Shabbas (Sabbath) read the scroll on the Thursday immediately after his Hebrew birthday to mark the occasion. Some contemporary teenagers then continue into further study either at Sunday morning religion school or, in some cases of a still more observant nature, at a yeshiva, where their reading will be dedicated to the study of Torah and of Talmud. As men, members of the West Midlands communities visited also continued to study in a rich variety of ways, for the exploration, analysis and discussion of Torah and Talmud is the traditional territory of the male Jew. Female Roles in the Home An Orthodox Jewish woman, by contrast, is not expected to study in the same way, although she is clearly not prohibited from doing so, and a number of those encountered enjoyed doing so. As Friedman writes, 'This exemption is not a mark of the woman's inferiority but is in accordance with the Talmudic principle that "one who is engaged in one religious act is exempt from the claims of another upon him"' (1967: 126). Her domain still relates to the teaching of the Torah, but in a radically different way, since it involves the application of Torah regulations to practical situations of household management - and particularly those relevant to the observance of kashrut (the system of laws relating to foods). It is all the more interesting here to note the remark of Kosmin and Levy (1983) that 'this gender bias in belief is especially interesting when seen in terms of practice. Those rituals which are observed most are home-based, traditionally the realm of the woman. In the public domain, Jewish practice is dominated by men'. Of equal importance is the mother's role first in teaching her daughters what it means to run a kosher kitchen and then in training them in the complex preparations involved in celebrating the weekly Sabbath and the annual festivals as they come round. Differences in Gender Roles Specific observations, listed in the researcher's field notes, that called attention to this differentiation of gender role functions included the following: - At the outset of the weekly Sabbath (sunset on Friday evening) girls in all forms of Judaism join their mother in welcoming the new day by lighting candles; boys light no candles, but at the Sabbath evening meal the blessings are pronounced by the senior male present and in Orthodox homes men and boys are served with bread and wine first, before any females present receive their portion. - At the Seder, the ritual meal that begins the Passover festival celebrations, the four central questions are normally asked by the youngest boy present. During Orthodox synagogue services women and girls over twelve years of age are not allowed downstairs where the Torah scrolls are kept and used. Equally it is unusual today for boys to go upstairs to the women's gallery, even on the occasion of their Bar Mitzvah, as used to be the practice at one of the synagogues that was visited. This related to a shift in emphasis on the part of the synagogues leadership from a Reform/Conservative position to a stricter adoption of Orthodox viewpoints. - Elderly ladies who are unable to climb the steps to the gallery are sometimes allowed to sit at the very back of the male seating downstairs, but this will only be in a curtained alcove behind a mechitzah, an openwork screen which effectively separates them from the men who are taking an active part in the service. (For an interesting study of a feminist forced to say Kaddish 'from the wrong side of the Mehitzah', see Reguer's chapter in Heschel 1983: 177-181.) It is not easy for a male researcher to enter into the experience of sitting in an area screened off from the gaze of men. A helpful description of its value is given in the account of one of Kaufman's (1991) interviews with a Strictly Orthodox convert, who stated: "You know, when I go to shul (synagogue) I love to pray behind a mechitzah, not because I feel I will distract men, but because I do not wish to be distracted from prayer. I just like to feel my spiritual self - alone with God. To me shul is for davening (praying). I like to be alone in prayer... You see, there is a holiness to Judaism that I love. I like the fact that the men and the women are expected to reach holiness through different means. I think it suits our personalities. Before I was married I tried davening in an all-women's prayer service, but I always felt something was missing. I like being with men and being separated. It makes two statements simultaneously - that we are separate, different, yet together." - Both males and married females are expected to cover their heads, but for men and boys this is most frequently with a yarmulka, a small, ceremonial skull cap, whereas women will often wear their best headwear, often of a striking colour or attention-catching design. Furthermore, there is considerable gender differentiation in dress, and observant women will be expected to avoid wearing trousers. Skirts or dresses are normative for them in public on any formal occasion. It is clear from these examples that there are many differences in gender roles during synagogue services and Sabbath and festival celebrations. The words of a nine year old girl from a mixed Sephardic/Ashkenazic background, commenting on her weekly experience of gender discrimination, reinforced every Shabbas eve, illustrate the situation with some clarity: My father gives us a blessing every Friday night - it's all right, but I always get the left hand because I'm a girl, although I'm the oldest. My brother always has the right hand. I don't really mind that, it's just a tradition. At least I get blessed. The use of the right hand and the left hand here is charged with meaning. It recalls the blessing of Jacob and Esau by Isaac in Bereshit (Genesis) chapter 27, 1-38, and the tradition which has emanated from it of the husband praising his wife and blessing their children each Sabbath evening (Friday) when he returns home from synagogue. Gender and Identity The source of this gender role differentiation is grounded, like so much else, in Torah. Bereshit (Genesis) 2, 20-24, which is the relevant passage and the source of the Talmudic quotation given at the outset of this article, relates how the first woman was made from a rib of the first man. No matter how full these early stories are of beautiful legends about female initiative, they still echo the message of male supremacy and leadership that was, not surprisingly, accepted as the norm by most civilisations of that time. In practical terms the family tree of this type of differentiation includes the fact that the traditional definition of who is Jewish is based on the identity of the mother.<6> Any child born of a Jewish mother is regarded, by the Orthodox at least, as Jewish, no matter what the affiliation of the father. This ensures a considerable degree of clarity in the identification of individuals as Jewish and reinforces the importance (and the nature) of the mother's role in the eyes of the Jewish tradition. At the same time the Jewishness of many Progressives is suspect in strictly Orthodox eyes. As Carmel states, 'Conversions by Reform rabbis are considered null and void by Orthodoxy' (1967: 111). In part this is because conversion into the faith by those whose mothers are not Jewish appears to be made easier there. Such conversions of women are sometimes attempts to ensure the acceptability of their children as Jews. In a similar way the children of Progressive fathers and non-Jewish mothers are frequently accepted (by Progressives) as Jews, much to the disapproval of the Orthodox. A Progressive boy, who attended an Orthodox Jewish primary school (although his family had only become Progressive since the Orthodox father had married a non- Jewish wife), observed that: Religion is important to my parents, because if it wasn't my Mum wouldn't be converting...she is converting partly for her own sake and partly to help me have a Bar Mitzvah...I think me having a Bar Mitzvah is the most important for her. In Orthodox Judaism the definition of roles, by contrast, is clear, unambiguous and traditional. It serves to reinforce the strengthening of ties between fathers and sons and between mothers and daughters. In achieving this it makes positive use of the leisure provided and safeguarded by the weekly Shabbas, (the Sabbath day) when there is time for the family to gather unhindered by the burden of work; time that allows for study and reading, for playing games and talking, for ritual and prayer, for celebratory meals and for the family to relax together and enjoy each other's company. It is an interesting feature in both Orthodox and Progressive communities that when a non-Jew satisfies the authorities that the request for conversion is genuine, he or she is accepted by the congregation of the synagogue as though the conversion had never been needed and he or she was Jewish by birth. No distinction is made afterwards by other members, although a prominent male member of an Orthodox synagogue once indicated that it was noticeable in the case of a recent female convert how much harder she tried to observe the requirements of the Torah than did those who had been born and grown up Jewish. There is here something more than the normal extremism found in many cases of conversion. As Kaufman showed in her study of Jewish women in Israel who came or returned to Orthodox observance, the implications of living a life based on Torah are intellectually positive and far-reaching: Irrespective of how they began, it was a long journey to orthodoxy for these women - adopting one Orthodox law after another, taking courses, attending Orthodox services, visiting and sometimes living with other Orthodox families... Many noted that the "conversion" to orthodoxy came slowly. Very few were immediately drawn into the community... Most claimed that they knew they were truly on the journey home when they no longer felt the desire to live any other way. "I knew I had committed myself to orthodoxy," said one woman, "when I finally gave away my Bob Dylan records." (1991: 31-32) Role Definition in Shul and Religion School Role delineation along male/female lines was particularly evident in the synagogue or shul. The synagogue has three main functions. It is the focus for communal prayer, for the study of Torah and Talmud, and for a range of social activity. While women are permitted to be present for the first two of these traditional functions (and more recently for the third), their role in shul in the Orthodox world is largely restricted for prayer and study purposes to that of observer. Although women fully participate in the prayer services and join in the recitation of the Amidah and other prayers, they play no part in Orthodox synagogues in leading the prayers and are never called up to say the blessings at the reading of the Torah passages.<7> These duties are the exclusive prerogative of adult males and as Heilman (1973) shows in his account of the allocation of these honours in an Orthodox American synagogue community where he was carrying out participant observation, they are regarded as high honours to be distributed by the elected officers to men of high standing within the community. The impact of being excluded from experiences such as these has of course a negative side to it, of which Jewish women today are increasingly conscious. Shulman's experience (as expressed in Heschel 1983: 108) of visiting the Touro Synagogue in Newport, Rhode Island, where 'when we reached the main entrance we found a neatly lettered sign that politely but firmly reminded "ladies" that they were to use the side entrance' is an emphatic reminder of the distance there is still to go in 'changing and reinterpreting halakhah and gaining inclusion in the minyan'. In the West Midlands synagogues visited in this research, corporate study sessions were restricted for the most part to men and teenage boys. The exception to this lay in the cheder classes, the religion schools, which met on Sunday mornings and also on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the late afternoon after day school had finished. The younger classes in these chedarim were often mixed classes, taught by women or teenage girls. The older girls who were preparing for their Bat Chayil (or Bat Mitzvah) ceremonies, when they celebrate being twelve years of age and are then regarded as adult, attended separate classes taught by the rebbitzin (the rabbi's wife) in one case, or by one of the senior women of the congregation. The training for these girls included practical skills such as the proper preparation of kosher foods, the running of the home, needlecraft and embroidery, the observance of Sabbaths and festivals, and a good deal more. They learned enough Hebrew to get by in the services and picked up a great deal of information about Jewish belief and practice, much of it gained incidentally in conversation. The contrast with the training the boys received was particularly marked in respect of their preparation for initiation into the community. Gender Roles in Social Life The third activity associated with the synagogue was the social side of community life. This takes many forms and much of it occurred in each of the five synagogues visited not in the synagogue's main area but in associated areas which are part of a varied complex of rooms used for educational and social functions. Here were held both regular and occasional activities, many of a purely cultural nature such as fund-raising soirees (often musical) and educational quizzes, as well as a range of functions linked to festival celebrations or other aspects of the life of an observant community. Men and women shared more equally in leadership of and participation in these activities, depending of course largely on the nature of the exercise, and husband and wife teams were not uncommon in the making of arrangements for such functions. Heilman (1973: 73) comments perceptively that women, 'when they do come (to synagogue), participate only peripherally in the activity of the house of prayer. Theirs is a prayer with a minimum of involvement shifts. They cannot easily change the prevailing definition of the situation - i.e., move from prayer to study to sociability and so on - as do the men, who as masters of the setting are far less restricted'. Progressive Variants in Gender Roles The Progressive synagogue visited in the course of the research was Liberal, but in Progressive synagogues generally, whether Liberal or Reform, gender role distinctions in both devotional and social life are far less strict and their borders are blurred in many different ways. Here men and women may sit together at all times and women are called up to the Torah and allowed to open and close the doors of the ark. Women may train for and fulfil all the functions of a Progressive rabbi on equal terms with men and are not debarred from any of the offices of the synagogue, although it is still unusual to find a woman cantor leading the singing of the prayers. But in any case the role of cantor is less significant and appeared to be less frequently filled in Progressive communities than was the case in Orthodox ones. Gender Issues in Family and Home The home, by contrast, was the focus for family life equally in Orthodox and Progressive communities. Marriage was regarded as a duty (as well as a delight) by many and children were always welcomed as a joy. This supported Feldman's view that, 'in its proper setting, sex is a mitzvah (a duty). The marital sex obligation is defined by halachah in terms both of frequency and quality' (1976: 94). The average size of the Jewish family unit has fallen in recent years but the Abrahamic commandment to 'be fruitful and multiply' is taken seriously by many within the tradition. Rosten quotes a Midrash: 'Not to beget children is to impair the divine image' (1972: 129). It is important however to note that these comments represent male views, and Kaufman interprets the reactions of the women she interviewed as indicating that 'they (women) are not commanded to marry and they are explicitly exempted from the duty of procreation.' (1991:79) Opinions vary as to who makes policy decisions within the family unit. In the majority of the homes visited the father was evidently the head of the household. In religious and financial matters he was clearly the leader, and in most issues related to religious or synagogue matters he was the natural spokesman. Much of the practical running of the house, however, lay entirely within the mother's hands, and a pattern was evident in which the dominance of the male gave way to aggressive and confident female leadership in most matters pertaining to children and in areas such as food and clothing. In these respects the father's wishes were often overruled, though never ignored. Orthodox families tended to be more traditional than Progressive ones in retaining male supremacy, although there was much individual variation in these matters. Kashrut and Kitchen If the synagogue as the location for prayer and study was the supreme focus for such male dominance as was observed, the kitchen may be held to be the province where the woman held full sway. In practical matters the wife or mother was responsible in all the homes which were visited for the execution of kashrut observance in its many forms. This included the purchase of permitted foods, the preparation and cooking of such foods in permissible ways, the devising of acceptable menus, the observance of cleanliness regulations and the preparations for Sabbath and festivals. It was the normal practice for husband and wife to present a united front in making policy decisions on these issues, at least to an independent researcher/observer, but the execution of their conclusions in practical decisions lay for the most part in the hands of the woman. 'You will have to ask my husband' was a response often heard in reply to questions posed to the mothers who were interviewed, whether it was an intellectual enquiry or a request for action, but it was clear that the reply was frequently known in advance by the well-informed wife. For a further example of parallel but varying responses to a specific situation (relating to the 'carrying' of a door key on shabbas) see an earlier article in DISKUS (Woodward 1993a: 20). Male Influence in Kashrut Observance At the same time there were certain aspects of kashrut in which male influence and sometimes intervention were discernible. These included aspects of decision making where considerable financial outlay was involved, such as the arranging of a journey to Manchester, Leeds or London to purchase large quantities of kosher foodstuffs from kashrut observant supermarkets of unquestionable orthodoxy, largely absent from the smaller Midlands Jewish communities. Other financial decisions involving male action or agreement on the part of the families that were studied related to issues of substance, such as the purchase of a second dishwasher. This enabled meat dishes to be sterilised in total separation from those used for milk based foods - a task otherwise involving the use of twin sinks or at the minimum twin washing-up bowls.<8>) A second microwave oven appeared not to be required since the cooking of food in glass containers avoided the likelihood of cross-contamination between these two types of foods, whose mixing is strictly prohibited in preparation as well as in consumption. In similar fashion male influence in aspects of kashrut was evident in a number of areas relating to the celebration of festivals. For instance, as Pesach was approaching, many Orthodox families approached their rabbi and contracted with him for the sale to a cooperative gentile of those household items containing leaven of which they could not themselves conveniently dispose. These items were then locked away (in the original owner's house) for the eight days of the festival and purchased back after it was over. In most cases it was, understandably, the husband who approached the rabbi to make these arrangements. In those families where no male adult was available it was apparently quite in order halachically for a woman to approach the rabbi for this purpose. In practice, however, no cases were observed in this research where this happened and the father of a fairly observant Orthodox family expressed no surprise that this seemed to be the case. It appeared more probable that women who were the head of a household made their own private arrangements with neighbouring gentiles. This was in spite of the adjunction given by a senior rabbi in the local Jewish Recorder (March 1991, Vol. 56 No. 3) to the effect that 'As selling Hamets (food containing leaven) is a complex matter it should be administered through a competent Rabbi.' Similarly, prior to Pesach the search for and burning of chametz (variant spelling for hamets = leaven) was undertaken, in those Orthodox families observant enough to undertake the ritual, by the men of the family when they were available (followed round the house by a train of interested and helpful children). However, women were also seen to perform the search and its accompanying ceremony where no male representative was available. The number of families where there is no mature male present seems to be on the increase in Judaism (cf. Kaufman (1991: 88 and 100)), as it is elsewhere. This was a source of much concern among several married adults who were interviewed. Where there used to be pride that married Jews stayed together, there is now some concern that family life is at risk and a determination to rescue and shelter it as much as possible. Giddens' view (1989: 399) that 'Rising rates of divorce do not seem to indicate a deep dissatisfaction with marriage as such, but an increased determination to make it a rewarding and satisfying relationship' was borne out by conversations in at least two of the homes which were visited. The other area of male involvement in the keeping of a kosher kitchen lay in the clarification of various areas of uncertainty, especially relating to the question of whether certain foods or practices conformed to the laws of kashrut. While in the great majority of cases custom and precept had already made clear what was acceptable, from time to time fresh queries arose which needed clarification. The natural focus for such queries was the local rabbi, whose training, learning and experience enabled him to produce an answer that was most often final and acceptable. In particularly complex cases reference was made to bodies such as the kashrut division of the United Synagogue and the London Beth Din, whose pronouncements are regarded by most of those to whom this question was addressed as authoritative and binding.<9> Queries of this nature were raised, as far as could be seen, by Orthodox households only. There were in addition many families who would never dream of raising such queries but who simply accepted the basic customs as a matter of course and regarded normal tradition as an adequate level of kosher observance. Bar Mitzvah and Bat Chayil The distinction between the Orthodox boy's Bar Mitzvah when he is thirteen and the girl's Bat Mitzvah or Bat Chayil when she is twelve is also of importance. Neither ritual appears to date back to Biblical days, although as Lipstadt says, 'by the first century C.E., thirteen for a boy and twelve for a girl were recognized as the ages when they were obliged to fully observe the commandments and to participate in the rituals of the community' (1976: 61). The date of the introduction of Bat Chayil appears to vary in different areas of the world. In Progressive synagogues the ceremony for girls is often called Confirmation and usually takes place later, at the age of fifteen or sixteen, while the boy still celebrates his Bar Mitzvah when he is thirteen. The ceremony for boys as it stands today seems to date from between the fourteenth and sixteenth centuries (Lipstadt 1976: 62). By contrast the development of a parallel ritual for girls appeared only in this century as an attempt to enable the daughters of a family to feel they were genuinely involved in the religious dimensions of their faith and could share in fulfilling the prescriptions of the Talmud. The Bat Chayil is often a shared event for several girls all roughly the same age who have studied together in a Bat Chayil class (see the photograph and accompanying note relating to a service of this nature in which seven teenage girls joined together to celebrate their coming of age in a combined ceremony at a West Midlands shul, featured in Woodward 1992: 321 - Figure 13), although in the Orthodox example observed they did not descend to the male arena where the Torah scrolls are kept. Lipstadt (1976; 61) indicates the Talmudic sources for the age differences in the two ceremonies: 'The Talmud (Mishnah Niddah 5:6) states that when a vow is made by someone age thirteen or above, it is a valid vow. In another section (Ketubbot 50a) it is mentioned that a boy of thirteen and a girl of twelve must fast for a full day on the holiday of Yom Kippur'. The ritual for boys, by contrast, is normally a solo event, and when two boys in any synagogue might be due to share the same weekend it is customary for one of them to delay his ceremony to ensure each has the stage to himself. An exception was noted in the case of Progressive twins, who both participated in the same service, although with an interval between the reading of their portions. This custom of separating the portions read by members of the same family is not restricted to Bar Mitzvah celebrations but is followed at any service where members of the congregation are called up to the reading of Torah. It applies equally in the case where a father and his son or any two brothers are called up on the same day. The origins of the custom are not clear but appear to relate to the need to avoid any one family's taking an undue share in the privileges associated with prayer. It is not of course necessary for such events to take place on Shabbas. The reading of a passage of the Law can equally well take place on a weekday (either Monday or Thursday morning, as described in Woodward (1993b: 7)). Ashkenazic boys often study individually since they have to show competence in the Hebrew text and the pronunciation of individual passages from the lectionary. For Sephardic boys joint preparation classes are not uncommon since the putting on (laying) of the tephillin is the central act of their Bar Mitzvah. The ceremony for boys appeared to have more significance for Jewish parents and other adults than that for girls in that the boy was now regarded as old enough to wear the tephillin for daily prayers, to constitute part of a minyan, the quorum of ten males required for corporate prayer, and to be called up to the reading of the Torah at the Sabbath morning service. The ceremony for seven girls which took place during the period of the research was well rehearsed and full of meaning for those who took part; it was well supported and emotionally highly charged, but it lacked the sense of being a fulfilment of a scriptural command that was evident in the case of the boys' services which were attended. Even the conclusions reached by Schmool and Miller (1994: 121), as set out in their commentary on their postal research survey of Women in the Jewish Community were pessimistic about the influence on commitment of experiencing Bat Mitzvah/Bat Chayil; this was in spite of the fact that they recorded 58 per cent of their respondents as viewing the experience as having a positive effect. The difference of approach between the male and female ceremonies is brought out in a quotation from a nine year old Orthodox girl who explained how she viewed the ceremony she would have and compared it to her brother's carefully prepared Bar Mitzvah: I know I will have a ceremony when I am twelve years old. I am looking forward to it. Like a boy has a Bar Mitzvah, you know, maybe you don't get a bigger ceremony, but it is still like a ceremony for you... The person who is actually having the Bar Mitzvah, he feels it the most, you know, like there are hundreds of people and they are all gathered there for you, so with the Bat Chayil, though there are not as many people really. There was little sign of bitterness in these comments, but the girl being interviewed, like several of those who spoke on this matter, was firmly aware of the different status attaching to her ceremony as compared with that of her brother. Her acceptance that this was the normal pattern for her life was seen by her as both a strength and a weakness - a strength in that it emphasised the stability of family life and the compensatory roles that different members fill, and a weakness in that the status quo was based on an inflexible tradition which could not be questioned or changed. This ambivalent approach may all too easily constitute a basis for subconscious gender stereotyping, an element that was clearly evident among some of the Orthodox Jewish communities. It is this ambivalence of attitude as much as overt sexist approaches that Blu Greenberg (1981) has attacked so effectively in her attempt to portray feminism as 'a call for the equality (though not the identity) of men and women'. Brit Milah Another religious situation where male centrality is customary occurs in a further rite of passage, the Brit Milah, the ceremony of circumcision. In the Orthodox families interviewed the mother was never present and all the important roles were accordingly filled by men. In Progressive circles the mother was often in the room and sometimes shared with her husband in the ceremony, even to the extent of formulating and reciting certain of the prayers and blessings that were used. Margolis and Margolis (1976: 30-37) discuss this issue in the light of 'the new interest in Jewish feminism', and give examples of suggested American Progressive services both for a newborn daughter's Brit and for a Pidyon ha-Bat, the redemption of a first born daughter. It is of course clear that in a 'female brit' no physical circumcision takes place. It would in any case, as Rosten (1968: 482) points out, be open to some question 'if that (circumcision) is the right word'. The ceremony is intended to highlight the spiritual aspects of the custom and to involve both male and female members of the family in the occasion as equal partners. Rosten further mentions that 'circumcision imprints into a man's body a lifelong sign that Israel will be perpetuated through him - that his seed, passing through the circumcised portal, will create children who will in turn be pledged to the Jews.'(1968: 481) It is not difficult to find a female equivalent for such a pious wish, but the Orthodox parents with whom the question of a 'female brit' was discussed expressed amazement and horror that such a ceremony could be considered to be appropriate within Judaism, even in American Progressive circles. The female equivalent of the Pidyon ha-Ben ('Redemption of the Son'- a ceremony observed on the 31st day after birth) is more unusual still than the 'female brit'. It would seem to provoke even deeper questions of theological orthodoxy than are raised there, particularly since the redemption of the first born son has historical foundations relating to the deliverance from slavery in Egypt, and this would appear to have no direct equivalent in the case of baby girls. Accordingly, although its introduction is recommended by some feminist writers, it was judged inappropriate in this research to ask questions about a female parallel, and the issue was not raised by those who were interviewed. The unusual nature of these suggestions serves, however, to underline the fact that both ceremonies (i.e. brit and pidyon) normally centre around the male child only and that there is no Orthodox equivalent for girls. There is a possible implication here, although it is one that a great many contemporary Jews would deny, that the male child is not just functionally different from girls but that he has an importance in religious terms that is denied to his sisters. It has even been suggested by some cynics on the secular fringe of the communities studied that the Orthodox regard the female's role as limited to the production of further generations of 'religiously useful' males. Reflections and Changing Attitudes In Judaism it is only in the last hundred years that pressure for the redefinition of gender roles has begun to make substantial inroads. While such pressure appears to be gaining ground steadily, the observation of these specific Jewish communities in the Midlands, although limited in scale, gave rise to some support for the view that it is more important in the majority of Jewish eyes to focus upon the value of divergence in sexual matters than to search for what might be seen as a pointless equality of role. In a quotation from one of her interviewees, who had moved from a non-Orthodox base to become 'Modern Orthodox', Kaufman expressed this forcefully ('frum' here means strongly observant): I think in a world that isn't frum, most women are male-identified. I think before I became Orthodox, I was male-identified. You know: what's male is better. Not in Judaism. If anything, it is a bit reversed. Difference doesn't mean inferiority. In fact, only in Judaism have I found out who I really am. I am different, not just because I am Jewish but also because I am a woman... Those insights about women are all there in the Torah. (1991:51) Orthodox Jewish thinking as evidenced here seems to find the female's share in family life sufficiently fulfilling for her to have no need to trespass on male preserves (Friedman 1976: 126ff). In this respect Judaism appears to have formulated and refined a viewpoint that other religious traditions such as Sikhism and certain branches of Christianity have either adopted tacitly without critical consideration or have grown through and (partly) jettisoned in a search for a fuller equality between the sexes. That this traditional approach to the role of women is changing and will continue to change is beyond doubt. Heschel (1983: 114) describes the 'response of anger, a feeling of betrayal by one's people, by religion and by God' as 'the initial spark for most who question Judaism's values, customs, structures and beliefs'. The cumulative effect of 'being forbidden to dance with a Torah on Simhat Torah, being forced to say Kaddish hidden behind a curtain, or praying a liturgy that knows only male language and imagery' (ibid.) inevitably affects Jewish women's self-understanding. But the rate of change is slow and is likely to be slower in the Jewish tradition than elsewhere, partly because of the monopoly of power traditionally vested in the hands of men, both rabbis and lay, and partly because there is still much pressure from Jewish women to delay any changes to halachah since they are content to a considerable degree with the autonomy they currently experience in the home and in family matters generally. There is of course a great deal of pressure on Orthodox Jewish communities today to review their thoughts on this question of gender differences, especially among some students of university and college age. This is also true in Progressive communities, although more movement has already taken place there than amongst their more conservative counterparts. Outside the Orthodox Jewish community one rarely encounters anything approaching a comparably well developed line of argument for the retention of a separate and distinctive female role fulfilment as a desirable norm. While the issue clearly affects such Christian communities as the Anglican, Catholic and Orthodox, it has taken in many cases a specific and controversial format in relation to the ordination of women to the priesthood, and this has in some measure obscured the more basic question of the value of variety in equal but divergent roles. In Orthodox Judaism there appears to be no felt need to apologise for the fact that the roles of men and women are so different. A particular feature of the present study was its indication that a strong relationship exists between the children's views of the role of women in the family and their attitudes to the choice of their marital partners. Those who were happy to see parental involvement in the choice of their future partners tended to rate highly the value of a Jewish marriage and the retention of a traditional Jewish approach to female roles. Others who were determined to select their own partners at some stage in the future were more likely to demand an independent role for Jewish women, whether they were themselves female or no. The generation gap between parents and children is clearly an important factor in bringing about change in attitudes here, and in producing a more informed and well-argued case for a genuine female emancipation. Jewish children today, whether of primary or secondary age, are far less biddable than were their parents, although they are perhaps more open to conviction by argument. More significant, however, is the intense loyalty evidenced by those who were interviewed towards family, community and tradition. It is this internal loyalty that is the most salient factor in retaining traditional attitudes to sexual roles among these contemporary British youngsters, whatever their 'denominational' affiliation. The Future It follows that if Jews were to abandon those aspects of their tradition that have proved distinctive and formative, they would fail to be true to their upbringing. They might then run the risk of jettisoning the features of their tradition which have proved most effective in preserving it in its established form. The family, kashrut (food law system) and the Sabbath have emerged as three of the most vital factors in the preservation of Judaism in all its variety. The tradition would clearly not be the same were these to lose their influence. Hence the nervousness encountered among some communities as to the effects that any major changes in gender roles may bring. Whether such marked role definition as has existed in the past is essential to the preservation of these factors is not altogether clear. What is evident from the literature and borne out by these recent observations is that any change that comes will be introduced carefully, thoughtfully and slowly, and probably with a good deal of opposition and agonising. At the same time it is obvious that change will come. The clearest indication of this is the element of acceptable role exchange that is already taking place in various sectors of the Jewish tradition. Several prominent male Jews, both Orthodox and Progressive, are known to excel at cooking in their homes a variety of distinctive Jewish dishes, especially the ones customarily served at festivals, and many Jewish women are taking more seriously than in previous generations the learning of Hebrew and the study of Torah. Education within Judaism is by no means a male preserve today. The kitchen and the study are steadily losing the rigidity of their gender stereotyping, and it seems likely that this particular trend, now that it has started to develop, will not fail to gather some of the momentum it has achieved in a number of the world's other religious traditions. Notes 1. Progressive Judaism as referred to here is an umbrella title that embraces both Liberal and Reform communities. Its origins date back to the late 18th century C.E., (Hinnells 1984: 268), although in the U.K. the term is also used specifically to refer to the Liberals. Progressive Jews, while observant in varying degrees, are generally less strict than the Orthodox in many respects, particularly having regard to kashrut and the nature of Sabbath observance. 2. While most Orthodox Jews expect to follow many of the precepts of halachah, the Jewish law, it is the Right-Wing Orthodox who seek to observe it in its entirety. Among the families interviewed it was those who belonged to the Lubavitch movement who were the most punctilious observers of halachah. 3. The study that gave rise to these initial descriptions of Jewish communities and their varied attitudes to gender roles was part of 'Ethnography and Religious Education', a series of studies conducted under the auspices of the 'Religious Education and Community Project', based in the Department of Arts Education of the University of Warwick in the U.K. It was a three year project (1990-93) that involved school and family based interviews with children from four different religious traditions, namely the Christian, Jewish, Muslim and Sikh traditions. 'Ethnography and Religious Education' was funded by the Economic and Social Research Council (Award No. R000232489) and its goals included an attempt to discern the principal factors operating in the transmission of religious culture from older generations to their children. It grew out of work previously undertaken in the Hindu tradition by members of the Project team (Jackson and Nesbitt 1993; Jackson 1994). The Religious Education and Community Project has, since Autumn 1994, been incorporated into the Warwick Religions and Education Research Unit based in the Institute of Education at the University of Warwick. The Jewish element in this research was located in a Midlands city in the U.K., and the interviews extended over a six month period with a further year devoted to preparatory reading, community contact and the writing up of the research. The children came mostly from Orthodox backgrounds, some Ashkenazic and a few Sephardic, but a number of families studied were Progressive, and these were associated with the one Liberal synagogue operative in the area. Some 39 Jewish children aged seven to fourteen, all living in the Midlands, were interviewed in their day schools and 10 families were then selected for more detailed research in their homes, religion schools and synagogues. Further information about the Warwick Religions and Education Research Unit may be obtained from its Director, Professor Robert Jackson, Institute of Education, University of Warwick, Coventry. CV4 7AL. U.K. 4. Many members of the early kibbutzim movement rejected any ritual observance while remaining firmly Jewish and strongly Israeli. Others were devoutly religious and some of these today see the communal life as the proper fulfilment of Jewish life and tradition. 5. The moshav (pl. moshevim) movement is similar to the kibbutz, even though it is smaller numerically and organised differently. Members own their own property and retain their own investments, while working closely with other members in the type of industry or activity in which they have chosen to cooperate. 6. No definition is fully satisfactory to everybody. A more recently formulated category for determining Jewishness is 'those who identify sufficiently with Judaism to want to be buried with some form of Jewish religious ceremony'. For further information regarding this approach (which has been used by the Board of Deputies of British Jews to establish overall population estimates rather than to define Jewishness), see Lipman (1990). 7. The Amidah or 'Prayer said standing' is one of the more important prayers in the Sabbath morning service when the whole congregation rises to its feet. Its technical title is the Shemone Esrei and it originally contained 18 Benedictions. Pearl and Brookes (1956: 42 and 62) state that in contemporary usage 19 Benedictions are recited and the prayer is also used on weekdays and at festivals. 8. Glinert (1985: 31-40) describes the issues involved here in some detail in his chapter on 'Keeping Kosher', setting out first 'The kashrus profile of the semi-observant' ('mostly found among the approximately 55% of Jews who belong to the "nominally Orthodox" synagogues of the "middle of the road" United Synagogue organization and its equivalents') and 'The kashrus profile of the observant' ('mostly found among the 3.5% of Jews belonging to the Traditionalist "right-wing" Orthodox synagogues'). 9. The United Synagogue is a grouping of Orthodox synagogues in the area of London and the Home Counties. Orthodox synagogues elsewhere in the U.K. are often in agreement with its stances and policies, but have links to alternative affiliations. The London Beth Din is only one of a number of Orthodox bodies, but, as in many other respects, the voice of London is regarded as leading the way in terms of authority and prestige. Its annual production of 'The Really Jewish Food Guide' is a practical and popular tool which appears to be extremely useful in many sections of the British Jewish community. References Carmel, Abraham 1967 'The Proselyte - A Blessing or a Curse?' in Longworth, Philip (ed.) Confrontations with Judaism. London, Anthony Blond. Feldman, David 1976 'Sex and Sexuality - The scope of tradition and its application' in Strassfeld, Sharon and Strassfeld, Michael, The second Jewish catalog: sources and resources. Philadelphia, The Jewish Publication Society of America. Friedman, Rosemary 1967 'The Ideal Jewish Woman and Contemporary Society' in Longworth, Philip (ed) Confrontations with Judaism. London, Anthony Blond. Greenberg, Blu 1981 On Women and Judaism: A view from Tradition. Philadelphia, Jewish Publication Society of America. Glinert, L. 1985 Aspects of British Judaism Occasional Papers: 11. University of London: School of Oriental and African Studies. Heilman, Samuel C. 1973 Synagogue Life: a Study in Symbolic Interaction. University of Chicago Press. Heschel, Susannah (ed) 1983 On Being a Jewish Feminist: A Reader. New York, Schokken Hinnells, John R. 1984 Penguin Dictionary of Religions. Harmondsworth, Penguin. Jackson, Robert 1994 'Ethnography and Religious Education: a Research Report', Panorama: International Journal of Religious Education and Values. 6, 1 pp 115-130. Jackson, Robert and Nesbitt, Eleanor 1993 Hindu Children in Britain. Stoke on Trent, Trentham. Kaufman, Debra Renee 1991 Rachel's Daughters: Newly Orthodox Jewish Women. New Brunswick, Rutgers University Press. Kosmin, Barry A. and Levy, Caren 1983 Jewish Identity in an Anglo-Jewish Community - The Findings of the 1978 Redbridge Jewish Survey. London, Research Unit, Board of Deputies of British Jews. Lipman, Vivian 1990 A History of the Jews in Britain since 1858. Leicester University Press. Lipstadt, Deborah E. 1976 'Bar/Bat Mitzvah' in Strassfeld, Sharon and Strassfeld, Michael, The second Jewish catalog: sources and resources. Philadelphia, The Jewish Publication Society of America. The London Beth Din 1991 The Really Jewish Food Guide. London: United Synagogue Publications Ltd. Margolis, Daniel and Margolis, Patty 1976 'Oh boy, it's a girl' in Strassfeld, Sharon and Strassfeld, Michael, The second Jewish catalog: sources and resources. Philadelphia, The Jewish Publication Society of America. Pearl, Chaim and Brookes, Reuben 1956 The Guide to Jewish Knowledge. Bridgeport, Connecticut, Hartmore House. Reguer, Sara 1983 'Kaddish from the "Wrong Side of the Mehitzah' in Heschel, Susannah On Being a Jewish Feminist. New York, Schocken, pp 177-181. Rosten, Leo 1968 The Joys of Yiddish. Harmondsworth, Penguin. Rosten, Leo 1972 Treasury of Jewish Quotations. London, Bantam Books. Sacks, Jonathan 1991 Arguments for the Sake of Heaven: Emerging Trends in Traditional Judaism. London, Jason Aronson Schmool, Marlena and Miller, Stephen 1994 Women in the Jewish Community: A Survey Report. Office of the Chief Rabbi Shulman, Gail 1983 'A Feminist Path to Judaism', in Heschel, Susannah, On Being a Jewish Feminist. New York, Schocken, pp.105-109. Woodward, Peter 1992 'Jewish Children under the Camera: An Ethnographic Study of Jewish Children in Britain' in Visual Anthropology, 5, 3, pp.307-330, Autumn. Woodward, Peter 1993a 'Empathetic Guidelines for the Ethnographic Study of Jewish Children in Britain', in DISKUS, Vol. 1, No. 1, pp 15-31, Spring. Woodward, Peter 1993b 'On Being Frum', in Religion Today, Vol.8, No.3, pp 5-10, Summer. Biographical Details Peter Woodward, a former secondary school teacher and college lecturer in the field of Religious Education, has worked with young people and teachers in churches, schools, colleges and universities in various parts of Britain. He served for thirteen years as General Inspector of Schools with the City of Birmingham Education Department. Since then he has engaged in research with the Department of Education of the University of Cambridge and the Department of Arts Education of the University of Warwick, focusing upon the type of education offered to Muslim pupils in British schools today and the nature of nurture in the Jewish and Muslim traditions. He is currently Senior Lecturer in Religious Studies at Homerton College, Cambridge, where he is involved in teaching world religions and preparing specialist secondary school teachers for the R.E. classroom. He is also a Research Associate of the Warwick Religions and Education Research Unit in the Institute of Education at the University of Warwick. He has concentrated over many years upon the study and teaching of world religions and is a member and one time secretary and then chairperson of the Shap Working Party on World Religions in Education. He has served since 1975 as adviser and scriptwriter for two extensive, nationally networked television series for schools, Central Independent Television's multi-faith educational presentations, 'Believe It or Not' and 'What's It Like To be a ... ?' and at the present time is involved in planning a number of further programmes for use in schools. END